August 26 , 2003 - TRANSPERFORMANCE - The Pines Theatre - Northampton
Max says: Thoughts on last night's Southern Fried Transperformance. I arrived around 5:20 to the last verse of King Radio's sweet rendition of "Whichita Lineman", which made me sad I had missed the rest of their set. But I was happy there was still a few acts before Petty Cash took the stage, which gave me a chance to catch my breath, check my outfit in various car windows, eat some tasty pork from the free food table. I walked by the Fawns' Lesa, decked out as Johnny Cash, circa-'65, and didn't recognize her. Henning was a believable Tom Petty, and Tony, Brian and Ken all looked great as well. Soon we were lining up and getting herded on stage. I thought we played well and the crowd seemed to like it. I have the most fun at Transperformance playing for the under-10 crowd. They have the big eyes and really pay attention. The Fawns' two song Johnny Cash set seemed kind of stark to me, but then I heard we actually sounded dead-on and authentic. I wished we had one more song to really get into the groove (oh wait, that was Madonna last week). Other highlights: the all-star Allman Brothers blew me away. The Drunk Stuntmen were perfect. Kim Zombik was soothing. I sadly missed Matt Hebert. Michael Gregory was a prima donna. Spanish For Hitchhiking with Philip Price were R.E.M., and Chris Collingwood was scheduled to be involved as well. Unfortunately, Chris was playing Central Park for an MTV pre-video awards warmup show. Lame excuse. When we got up on stage to transform R.E.M. I heard a chorus of little kids singing "Stacy's Mom". I wanted to tell them that a) Chris wouldn't be there and b) there would be no "Losing My Religion" tonight. Like last year's version of Neil Young, we were lucky to be playing late when much of the crowd was standing up close by the stage. First up was "Radio Free Europe", with Dennis running on stage mid-verse and doing a great, tormented Michael Stipe. Philip also channeled Stipe for "Seven Chinese Brothers", and despite more time in-between songs than I would have liked, we pulled it off well. I could tell many people didn't know the song, but there were a few who seemed to be very happy we had chosen a not-so-obvious album track. We ended the set with "It's The End Of The World..." which felt a little messy, but was fun. Brian helped out with harmonies and tambourine. I can't wait for Transperformance next year... Henning says: Transperformance as a list. 1. The real stars of Transperformance: Northampton Party World and The Salvation Army Stores. After dropping 30 bucks on horrible wigs from a costume shop in New Haven, Lesa and I found much better ones at Party World (Who knew that Tom Petty had "sufer dude" hair?) Brian stopped in the Hadley Sal. Arm. Super Store and was drawn immediately to a perfect suade vest. I picked up some Petty glasses as Roz's place and it all came together five minutes before leaving for the show. Phew... 2. Upon arriving at The Pines Theatre and gettting the ultimate rockstar parking, we found Ken King-of-Transperformance Maiuri backstage. The first thing to find out was if he needed the keyboard set up or not. It was then that I heard the first negative thing I have ever heard at a Transperformance, usually a time of sharing and comrardarie among musicians and performers. It seems even though Michael Gregory took up a half hour long sound-check and even though the hard-working sound engineers let his band keep their huge percussion set-up and giant Hammond B3 on stage for the whole show and even though his organ player (and the guy who actually owns the organ) said it would be fine if Ken used it for other acts, Michael Gregory (I know his name well, because his huge flyers are often covering mine) declared that nobody could use that guy's organ because he wanted to be the only one that night to have that organ sound. We were all dumbstruck and thankfully a normal generous Frank Padellero brought his new Korg Organ Synth for everyone to use. I've only played in six Transperformances but I have never seen anyone treat it as some sort of competition among the performers, just the opposite, everyone has always helped each other out and worked together for the best possible performance from everyone. Besides, that bit of annoyance - everything else was wonderful. 3. Miranda Brown and her all-star band pull off a great Lucinda Williams set - a bigger crowd should have been there to see that. 4. Seconds before they were to take the stage the guitar player for Underbelly (Dixie Chicks) gets stung on the tongue by a yellow jacket. He takes it in stride bravely in his five inch heals. 5. King Radio sounds incredible and Matt Hebert makes Kenny Rogers proud. Excellent. 6. Backstage view of Bob Cilman dancing along to James Brown. Awesome. 7. Lesa steps out from the dressing room as Johnny Cash and looks freaky. Nobody recognizes her. In the meantime, I have my glasses off for the next 45 minutes and everything becomes a dark and colorful blur. 8. We take the stage and everything seems to hang together by a weak weak thread. I couldn't see anything or hear anything and I got one of the biggest electric shocks of my life from the microphone. Tony plays the solos perfectly. Three 12 year-old girls shout, "We love you, Tom Petty!" I point at them and smile. Through my blurred vision I see people dancing and singing along to The Waiting and Free Fallin'. Lesa says, "Hello, I'm Johnny Cash." The crowd roars. One second later, we are leaving the stage. 9. Gotta get this wig off. 10. Mark Mulcahey glows like a true star on stage in the Allman Brothers. Perfect. J Mascis solos through the entire set. 11. I reach into the pocket of my Petty jacket and find a souvenir from Max and Anya's wedding. That was the last time I wore it I guess. 12. The Drunk Stuntmen play themselves as Lynyrd Skynyrd and live up to everyone's expectations. Just a few hours earlier as Lesa and I drove to the show we heard Free Bird on the radio and then saw Scott and Terry drive by as the solos screamed in the car. Once again, they were the climax of the show. Everyone in that band is SO good. Alex is a guitar God. In any other band, terry would be a guitar God. But bands are monotheistic about guitars. Or something. 13. R.E.M hits the stage and Dennis and Philip share the Michael Stipe duties in matching T-shirts. Best part: I see a young Brian Marchese (this kid had the curly hair) in the audience, probably about 15 or 16 singing along with every line of Radio free Europe. Seven Chinese Brothers sounds great. Brian makes his keyboard debut. 14. Sugar Giant once again turns into a surreal wonderful thing as Colonel Sanders boogies out onto the stage with a three foot tall bucket of chicken. KFC and the Sunshine Band. Perfectly executed. They even brought their own disco cross. If the night ended there it would have been perfect. 15. I was wondering all night how someone was going to pull off being Britney Spears, as it turns out, nobody was. Instead the last act calls up girls from the crowd to gyrate in a Britney kind of way (which must have been really fun for the girls.) About half an hour into their set they finally finish and I joke that they are going to do another song...and then the do! A voice comes from the soundboard shutting them down. By this time the theatre was mostly empty and already cleaned up. It was a strange moment. 16. Once again nervous faces turned to look up at the clouds all day long, but nothing significant fell on Transperformance. Phew. 17. Can't wait until next year. I already told Bob Cilman that the Fawns want to be Sheryl Crow. Tony Says: Anyway, on to Transperformance. You're probably a little burned out on reading about it so I'll try to keep this to a minimum (**). First of all, I had never played a T.P. (hey, wait, doesn't T.P. stand for Tom Petty or can it also stand for Transperformance? I swear it stands for something else too.... oh yeah- Thea Price, crusher of dreams). As I was saying, I've never played one or even been to one before and I wished I could've experienced this one without a sore throat and head cold. But I'll take that over a beesting on the tongue anyday. Came close, though. After leaving stage, I grabbed my can of Tangerine Spritzer that was sitting innocently where i had left it, took a swig, and had to spit out the corpses of two drowned-in-ecstasy bees. Also luckily, I did arrive in time to see Miranda B. as Lucinda W. (I think I only missed the Fats Domino act and I heard most of that on my slow stroll from the parking lot with toddler Hannah). Not really a Lucinda fan myself but maybe it's just her voice 'cause Miranda did the songs justice and the three she picked are pretty good songs on first listen. Guess I just didn't care for the one I used to hear on The River everyday while still working at Motherwear. And Miranda could probably sing Ani DiFranco and make it work. I also grabbed my vest at the Sal Army- the one that's located a parking lot away from my apartment building. It was nice to see Brian and I were on the same wavelength; without planning beforehand, both of us went for vests and black jeans. Much thanks to Ken M. for the wig. Since I had never been to a Transperf before, I came unprepared sans wig, thinking the costumes didn't really matter too much. This is no lie or overstatement- I actually got chills listening to King Radio play "Galveston." My Dad had a Glen Campbell 8-track and that tune has been with me since I was a kid. When Frank hit the "Glaveston, oh, Gal-ves-TON! I am so afraid of dying" line with the strings chiming in, it really was a genuinely moving moment. Whatever silliness might pervades the event due to costumes and funny emcees and stuff, it's great to also have moments like that as well. And I'm sorry to say but I do not feel bad at all that we nabbed the Tom Petty spot over the Ware River Club becasue Matt Hebert doing Kenny Rogers' "Lady" was delicious. Again, they played it straight- it just so happens Matt's voice is husky and gruff like Kenny's and the melody suited Matt's voice fine. I wished he could've done more. Hell, I wished King Radio could've been able to tear into "Southern Nights," too. Okay, our Tom Petty set was perilous at times. I myself cocked up the end to "Don't Do Me Like That" and I was disappointed that after Brian, Ken and I nailed the three-part Jeff Lynne backup vocals in Free Fallin' in practice, Ken was nowhere near a microphone when we played and so it was just Brian and me singing them sans the high part. That aside, since I was focused on my Mike Campbell leads, it's hard to tell how we sounded as a unit. But the reviews on Soundboard have been positive so I feel good about that. Hey yeah, The Allmans were delightful. J Mascis does Dickey Betts better than Dickey does these days. Kim Zombik as Dinah Washington was yet another highlight. Me and Hannah danced to "What a Difference A Day Makes" and later had a blast dancing to the last two Al Green songs. Michael Gregory's diva behavior aside, the band did a fine job with an artist who I was glad to see get covered. Too bad nobody did Otis Redding but the Reverend Al got his glory at least. Drunk Stuntmen as Skynyrd. For those that don't know, I am a huge closet Skynyrd fan. I have all of their (pre-airplane crash) albums and know the guitar solos inside out. At least in my head. I could never pull 'em off live but Alex and Terry sure did. Steve channelled the spirit of Ronnie Van Zant, the rhythm section boogied as majestically as the band did in their prime. And to top it off, they even remembered The Honkettes. And to top it off some more, they actually covered my two fave Skynyrd tunes, Sweet Home Alabama (natch) and the slightly more obscure "I Know A Little." And Henning, you're wrong. Terry and Alex are equal guitar gods. I wouldn't wish trying to learn and master the slide guitar solo in "I Know A Little" on anyone and Terry played it like it warn't no harder than falling off a log. I was just floored by the Skynyrd thing so unfortunately my mates doing REM was a bit of a comedown. It was cool but it was just cruel to have to follow such rock-tasticness, especially with more cerebral tuneage like 7 Chinese Brothers. Although I think part of it had to do with the fact that I watched the entire REM set from the side of the stage whereas I had witnessed all the other acts I've just raved about from out in the crowd where you get a better experience. Yeah, from where I was, the vocals were muddy, the drums seemed to be almost separate from the rest of the instruments. So I bet that had something to do with it. My old buddy Paul Pelis on drums set the tempos and grooved through three KC & Sunshine Band hits. I must say I was sure impressed to see SugarGiant, who are known for being a straight-ahead power-pop guitar bar band, really get a disco groove and knock it outta the (Look) park. Most of the rest of us remained within our usual stylistic templates. (Miranda as Lucinda, Stuntmen as Skynyrd, SFTD as Tom Petty, even The Fawns as Johnny Cash wasn't a huge stretch as Lesa's songs often ahve a countryish amble to them). Adding an F to the middle of KC and having Colonel Sanders sing lead vocals was an especially delightful touch 'cause what's more Southern than fried chicken? And did anyone else notice their keyboard player turn around from his keyboards and sniff a line of coke off the amp mid-song? Funny! The Britney thing was just sad. Should've just ended with the Sunshine Band. I'm sure somebody would've gladly done the real Britney thing up right. The choreographed dance moves Spears is known for would've taken some work, sure, but at least get someone to slap on the headphone set microphone thing or some hot pants and a bellyshirt. At least get someone to sing the songs without dragging enormous cue cards onstage and holding them in one hand with the microphone in the other. Blonde wig aside, I wasn't even sure who was supposed to be portraying Britney until I narrowed it down from the seventeen people onstage all warbling into various mikes. It was just a mess. For about two minutes into Baby One More Time, I thought the real Britney impersonator was stil going to come onstage at some point. At any rate, after that song, Paul Pelis gave me a ride home so I wasn't there to witness the dragged-out ending Henning described. So yeah, apart from an anticlimactic, confusing ending, it was a throughly enjoyable afternoon and evening. I should be so lucky to take part in some future ones.